How to fix the 5 big mistakes that keep you from putting gratitude to work for you
The Missing Link….
There’s a ton of information floating around about how to be
successful – both on line and off line. I’m sure you’ve heard about
the need for a clear vision, a strong belief, a good understanding of
human behavior and the principles of influence, and copywriting
skills.
If you’re like me, you’ve probably got a “$10,000” bookshelf full of
material from Bob Proctor, Joe Vitale, Jim Rohn, Dan Kennedy, and
many others. It’s priceless, and I wouldn’t trade my library for
anything.
But what happens when we feel like we’re doing all that stuff in the
books and tapes, at least to the best of our ability, and we’re not
really getting where we want to be? Is it possible that there is a
missing link in our program for success?
From what I’ve seen, there is a very common piece that gets left
out. We get so busy doing that we neglect it. There are also some
mental obstacles that get in the way.
It’s a simple idea, but it’s not always easy, for reasons we’re going
to cover in this book. It’s also one of the few things that Mom
taught me about life that turned out to be true!
“Wes,” she said, “when you get something, say thank you!”
Of course, there’s more to it than that, and Mom was only half right,
but at least she was on the right track.
“Now, wait a minute,” you might say. “I work my fingers to the bone
on my business and I’ve got the boney fingers to prove it! Who or
what am I supposed to be saying ‘Thank you’ to, and why?”
We’ll get to the “who” later on, but for the “why” we have to look at
the kind of universe we live in. We don’t live in a universe of
“Many people who
order their lives
rightly in all other
ways are kept in
poverty by their
lack of gratitude.”
Wallace Wattles
“Successful
people have
libraries.
The rest
have big
screen TVs.”
Jim Rohn
We don’t live in a universe of random chance or luck.
We live in a universe that works by laws;
predictable, repeatable, understandable laws.
The best program I’ve ever found on these laws is Wallace Wattles’
book, “The Science of Getting Rich.” In it, he says this:
“There is a law of gratitude, and if you are to get the results you
seek, it is absolutely necessary that you should observe this law.”
Now, what is this law of gratitude and how does it work? Wattles
goes on to tell us that it is an application of the law of cause and
effect:
“The law of gratitude is the natural principle that action and
reaction are always equal and in opposite directions.”
Here’s what he means – we know that everything we put attention
and emotional energy on, good or bad, will eventually show up in
our lives. The universe, and our subconscious mind, don’t know
good from bad, and they treat fear and enthusiasm exactly the
same. If we’re putting energy on it, we’re placing an order for it.
It’s important, then, to be putting positive energy on what we want,
not negative energy (fear, worry) on what we don’t want.
Gratitude is so important because it is a very high energy positive
vibration of thought. It is powerfully attractive! Wattles says it
connects us with the Source:
“You cannot exercise much power without gratitude because it is
gratitude that keeps you connected with power. The creative
power within us makes us into the image of that to which we give
our attention. The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best,
therefore it will receive the best.”
Do you see what he is saying? If we are grateful about everything,
we are focusing on what we want. It’s a way of making sure we are
putting the highest possible positive energy on our desires, and
withholding energy from the doubts and fears that we don’t want.
“Let he who would,
learn this: that
everything, even
dust and feathers,
goes by Law and
not by chance or
luck.”
Ralph Waldo
Emerson
“Your thoughts are
the tools with
which you carve
your life story on
the substance of
the universe.
When you choose
your thoughts, you
choose results.”
Imelda Shanklin
This is the reason that almost everyone who teaches about goals
insists that you see your goal as already accomplished, and that
you be grateful for it – now! It’s a powerful way to be sure you’re
putting strong energy on the goal – using gratitude.
You’d think with gratitude so important that everyone would be
conscious of it. But what I’ve noticed is that many people are
actually pushing away the success they want without knowing it
because they are violating this law!
There are 5 key mistakes that keep people from being grateful.
They all have to do with errors in our thinking and our beliefs, and
these are what we are going to show you how to correct.
We’re going to start by looking at the question that Einstein said
was the most important one that each person must answer for
themselves.
Einstein’s Question….
Einstein suggested that the answer to this was very important :
“Is the Universe friendly to our desires?”
It seems a little unusual that a scientist like Einstein would imply
that the universe might have a bias about whether we succeed or
not. However, I think he was asking us to decide if the universe was
designed to make it easy for us, or difficult.
In other words, is there enough to go around?
How we answer this question does make a big difference! After all,
if there is a limited supply of “stuff” and lots of people want it, then
life is difficult. Many people believe this way. We call it “scarcity” or
“lack” thinking. It’s hard to be grateful when there’s not enough.
“This is a great
truth. The universe
in which we live is
strangely and
wonderfully
accommodating.”
Eric Butterworth
“People who can
sincerely be thankful
for things which they
own only in
imagination have
real faith. They will
get rich; they will
cause the creation of
whatever they want.”
Wallace Wattles
This belief leads to competitive thinking – the idea that in order to
get what you want, you have to take it away from someone else.
This is a belief system that encourages fear and worry. Most sales
training is based on this idea. So are all wars.
How easy is it for anyone to be grateful when they think that the
universe is designed to make things tough for them? Especially
when their thinking keeps creating situations where they get to be
right about how tough it is.
Let me show you how abundant the universe really is. Both science
and spirituality tell us that everything is made out of the same
original stuff. Science calls it energy. So how much is there to make
more of whatever we need?
A recent scientific survey of the cosmos added up everything they
could find and determined that only about 4% of the available
energy was used to make the entire universe! There’s 96% left
over, or enough for 25 more universes! That seems pretty abundant
to me.
So let’s choose a different way of thinking. We can see an
abundant supply, rather than scarcity. We can choose to create our
success, rather than compete for a limited supply. When we do this,
we cease to be a victim of circumstances and we begin to reclaim
our power over our lives! Seeing the universe this way is the first
step in the law of gratitude.
Non-Resistance….
Non-resistance is one of the most misunderstood principles of
success, and not practicing it keeps an awful lot of people out of
gratitude. Non-resistance is simply taking the mental attitude that
whatever is, just is, and we don’t fight it.
Most of us go through life with many beliefs in our mind about how
things that “are” a certain way “should” be some other way.
“Gratitude will
keep you in
close harmony
with creative
thought and
prevent you from
falling into
competitive
thought. It will
keep you from
the error of
thinking that the
supply of riches
is limited – and
to think that
would be fatal to
your aims!”
Wallace Wattles
Don’t get me wrong, here. I’m not talking about simple stuff, like the
car’s in the driveway and it should be in the garage. If it is, go out
and move it!
What I’m talking about is usually the behavior of people and
circumstances that we can’t do anything about. We say to
ourselves (and others), “He shouldn’t have done that!” or “The car
shouldn’t have broken down here!”, or “She shouldn’t have treated
me like that!”, or “We should have won that contract!”
Sound familiar? It probably does, we’ve all done it. There are a
couple of things to notice about this, though.
First, notice that we are arguing with reality being the way it is! How
successful are we likely to be with that?
Second, notice the thoughts that go with this attitude. Someone or
something has taken our “stuff” (money, success, love, respect)
and we are victims. This is all based on “not-enough” thinking. How
are you going to find any gratitude in a pile of mental doo-doo like
that?
So this is where non-resistance is so important. Keep in mind that
non-resistance does not mean you have to be a doormat for
anyone. It only means that you don’t argue with reality. What is, is.
Instead of arguing, apply one of the universal laws, the law of
opposites (or polarity). This law simply states that everything has
two equal and opposite sides. Every situation that looks bad has an
equal amount of good, if you look for it.
If you really understand this, it will change your life dramatically, so
think about this carefully! Everything that happens just “is”. Like two
sides of a coin, it has a side that looks “bad” and it has a side that
looks “good”.
You get to choose. Whatever you call it, it becomes for you.
“The only time we
suffer is when we
believe a thought
that argues with
what is.
All the stress that
we feel is caused
by arguing with
what is.”
Byron Katie
Here’s how you apply non-resistance in any situation. First, you
remind yourself that the universe is friendly to you. There is a
virtually infinite supply of everything you need. There is always
enough money, customers, time, love, friends, etc. so that no
situation can leave you without those things for long. You do not
absolutely need “that one”, you can move on to the next.
Next, you remind yourself that you get to decide what to call the
situation – good or bad. You know the good is there (and, yes, I
know, it is sometimes hard to see when you’re in the thick of it), but
you do know it’s there.
In my life the worst experiences that I have gone through have
without exception eventually proved to be the greatest gifts. They
were my teachers, and each one contained in it the seed of
something astonishingly good for me. Took me a while to find it,
sometimes, but it was always there.
I’ve found that resistance (calling it bad) increases the suffering and
prolongs the experience. Putting the energy on the “bad”
experience only creates more of it! The value of non-resistance is
that it really speeds the process up and gets you to the good part
faster!
So find the good in the situation, and be thankful for it! This shifts
the energy to what you want, and is the second step in the law of
gratitude.
I Can’t Get No - - - Satisfaction….
You can find success principles anywhere, even in classic rock 'n
roll! Although I learned this concept from Bob Proctor, not Mick
Jagger, this song title points to an important lesson about gratitude.
You see, there is a fundamental difference between happiness and
satisfaction. And we want to get happy, but we don't want to get
satisfied.
“Nothing on
earth can resist
an absolutely
non-resistant
person.”
Florence Shinn
“And because all
things have
contributed to your
advancement, you
should include all
things in your
gratitude.”
Wallace Wattles
The difference between those two words is a concept that many
people struggle with, at first, because the words are used almost
interchangeably, at least here in the USA. But it is vital to
understand the difference.
Satisfaction implies an acceptance of the status quo, being
comfortable with the way things are. People can be satisfied
without being grateful because they have just accepted things the
way they are, even though it’s not what they really want.
Happiness, in contrast, implies a quality of mind, a state of joy and
gratitude, for what we have and what we are. It is, by definition, a
very positive and attractive mental energy.
Many people are satisfied, but unhappy. "I hate this crummy job,
but it's the best I can do, so I'll stick it out until retirement." Whew!
What a poor way to live!
Satisfaction with the status quo puts a lid on that desire within you
that always wants to grow, to expand, to be more, have more,
experience more. When we get satisfied, we get stuck, stop
growing, and start to rust.
The place you want to be is happy and dissatisfied! In other words,
to be thrilled with what you have, joyful and grateful for your
accomplishments and blessings, and at the same time, enthusiastic
about your ability to do even better.
So our guy in the example above might better say, “I am not
satisfied with this job, because I know I can do better. I am happy
and grateful that I have it because it is giving me the opportunity to
earn while I learn, and I am learning what I need to know to create
the better job that I really want.”
Do you see the difference? Dissatisfied, but happy and grateful.
When Bob Proctor talks about this, he makes the point that all
progress in society and in our individual lives, springs from
dissatisfaction, the constant quest for a better way.
"Spirit within you is
always for
expansion and
fuller expression."
Thomas Troward
“Flying is now as
familiar as walking."
"But why?"
"Because someone
was not content to
walk."
James D Freeman
Happiness, on the other hand, is the ability to look at the present
and see it as good. If we decide that our happiness is coming in the
future, then we don’t have much to be grateful for now.
We all hear people say, “When I get the job, the raise, the
relationship, the house, the success……then I’ll be happy.”
Hey, I’ve got bad news for you, bucko! Now is the only time you’ve
got. If you can’t be happy now, you never will.
Look at your life and find what works. Focus on that and see that
you can be grateful for it! Everyone has something to be happy
about.
We know that what we focus on grows in our life. So what are you
focusing on? What you have, or what you don’t have? Are you
living in the future, or the present? When you are grateful for what
you already have, you open the channel for more to come.
When we are able to practice living in the present and being
grateful for what we have right now – blessing what we have – we
have mastered the third step in the law of gratitude.
Anything But This!….
We’re doing pretty well with this law of gratitude. We’ve got the
friendly and abundant universe, we don’t argue with what is, we find
the good in everything and we’re happy and grateful right where we
are.
What more could we possibly need to do?
Well, there are a couple of little things.
This next one you might not like. I know I didn’t.
“We should form the
habit of blessing
everything that we
have. We know that
we are setting the
law of increase into
operation.”
Charles Fillmore
It took me a long time to understand this one. I hope you can get
through it faster than I did. It’s only one word………….
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness for everyone who ever did anything that you’ve been
carrying a grudge about.
The guy who cheated you in that business deal. The sister-in-law
who never paid back the $50. The teacher that gave you the F that
you didn’t deserve. The ex-spouse who dragged you through the
ugly and expensive divorce. Everyone. Anything.
And here’s how you can tell if you’ve really forgiven them:
Can you genuinely wish them well? Are you grateful for them?
Sorry, but half-baked phony forgiveness won’t do the job. You have
to do this completely. Forgiveness is not something you do for the
other person, it is something you do for yourself.
We know that long-term resentment has nasty physical effects on
your body. It can show up as migraines, or heart attacks, or cancer.
Why would you want to hang on to that?
Charles Fillmore points out that the first step in becoming free of
debt is to release everyone from debts to us! This includes the
emotional debts we call resentments. We cannot get what we aren’t
willing to give.
In a cause and effect universe, every thought we plant comes back
to us multiplied. Resentments are emotional bombs that always
boomerang back on us, one way or another.
For this reason, every area of your life where you can’t or won’t
forgive is a blockage in the flow of your success. The only way to
unblock it is to be willing to release the person or situation with
gratitude for what they brought you.
“And because all
people have
contributed to your
advancement, you
should include all
people in your
gratitude.”
Wallace Wattles
“Resentment
is like taking
poison and
waiting for the
other person
to die.”
Anonymous
Remember, the universe works by law, not by chance. There are
no coincidences in the people that show up in our lives. And
because the universe is friendly, they don’t show up to punish us,
but often to teach us.
We can apply the law of opposites and know that there is a benefit,
a learning, a gift, somewhere in that experience with that person.
We can find that gift, if we look, but sometimes we need to have
some distance from the events to see it clearly.
After all, whatever they did wasn’t about us, anyway. It was about
them. When we reach the point that we can be truly grateful for
them, when we can really wish them well, then we have cut the
chains of resentment that tied them to us and we are free to move
on.
The last step in forgiveness has to do with ourselves. There is no
escape from this step, because we can’t give love or support to
others unless we can give it to ourselves first.
We want to be grateful for everything. That means forgiving
ourselves for all the supposed mistakes and imperfections in our
life. We need to be able to love that person in the mirror.
Don Miguel Ruiz expressed this idea much better than I can:
“When you look in the mirror and hate what you see, you need
addictions to survive. If you don’t like the main character in your
story, then everything and everyone in it becomes a nightmare.
But if you accept yourself 100%, then you trust yourself. And
whatever you want to manifest in the world will happen.”
I can tell you from my own experience that just beginning the
process of forgiving and expressing gratitude for everyone in your
life and your past is an incredible gift to yourself. And it’s the
fulfillment of the fourth step in the law of gratitude.
“You can not
give what you do
not have.”
Thomas Troward
“Nothing people do
is because of you.
It is because of
themselves.” Don
Miguel Ruiz
Get In The Flow.….
Everything we have talked about so far has been about our
thinking. There’s a reason for that – everything in this world we see
begins with a thought! For years I played the game of trying to
change the results in my life without changing me or my thinking.
Bob Proctor has called that the “Cycle of Doom.”
The only way we can make any real changes is to start with the
thinking part. The mistake some people make is they stop at that
point. But effective change always shows up in our actions.
So how does a grateful person, one who has worked through the
first four steps of the law of gratitude, act?
It’s really simple – they give!
They give money, time, support, encouragement, everything.
Because they are grateful for what they have, they give it away.
Because they know that they live in an abundant, friendly, causeand-
effect universe, they know that by giving, they make receiving
possible.
If you really want to understand the power of giving, you have to
look at everything you have, not as “stuff”, but as evidence of a
flowing current, a river of abundance. When you give, you are
demonstrating your confidence in that abundance and your
gratitude for it. You are making room for more to come.
You know what they call a lake with water coming in, but with no
outlet? The Dead Sea.
By giving gratefully and continuously, you place yourself squarely in
the flow of life and become both an inlet and an outlet for the
abundant universe to work through.
“By thought the thing
you want is brought
to you. By action you
receive it.”
Wallace Wattles
“Prosperity is not in the
possession of things,
but in the recognition
of supply, and in the
knowledge of free and
open access to an
inexhaustible
storehouse of all that
is good.”
Charles Fillmore
For 100 pages of stories about how this works, get Dr Joe Vitale’s
incredible little book, “The Greatest Money-Making Secret in
History.” You will love these personal stories from well-known
people about how they learned the power of giving.
I especially like the story of Percy Ross, who gave away money.
Starting with $2 million, he wrote as many as 120 checks per week.
In 17 years, he gave away $30 million! But wait a minute! Where
did the extra $28 million come from? Think about it. He was in the
flow!
Let me give you a couple of examples of my own. These illustrate
the principle that we often get paid back in whatever it is that we
give.
In my business, since I deal in information, I use books as
giveaways. I have friends in Phoenix who wrote a wonderful little
book about thinking, called "As You Wish". I sell it on my web site
at www.HornCreek.com and I have also given away almost 200
copies!
I also love a book that Dr Joe Vitale wrote, called "Spiritual
Marketing" and I bought 100 copies for giveaways, too.
So what is the result? People are always giving us books! Before
we left Phoenix, one of my wife's coworkers gave us 3 big boxes of
metaphysical books and tapes, over 150 items.
Last month I mentioned a particular author that I was interested in
to some folks here and within a week was surprised with a full set
of his books! It’s hard for me to give books away faster than they
come back.
Another example - in my seminars I have never let money keep
anyone out who was really motivated to learn. I have done this
without any expectation of return - some people have eventually
paid me, some have not. I don't care; either way I know it will come
back to me.
“True giving is not
something we do
for someone, but it
is our consent to
let the flow of God
flow through us to
that person.”
Eric Butterworth
Imagine my delight when we got here to Kansas City where my wife
is going to school and I found out that as a spouse I could attend
and participate in her Communications (speaking) class and all the
special events and guest speaker workshops along with the
students. That’s access to information that the students are paying
thousands of dollars in tuition for - free!
Isn't that astonishing? We do get paid back in the currency we use.
So if you need money, give money. If you need time, give time. If
you need books, give me some books!
By taking the action of giving, you demonstrate your gratitude for
what you have, and this completes the fifth and last step in the law
of gratitude.
What’s Next?….
Now that you’ve read the book, are you ready to put gratitude to
work for you? If so, this means that you’re going to have to do the
five steps, not put this book away in a file or lose it on your hard
drive.
Here’s an exercise for you to do. I recommend that you do it daily
for the next month to get these new habits in your brain.
Take a sheet of paper and fill the paper with things you are grateful
for. Make sure you have at least 25 – 30 items and that you have a
few items from every area of your life. Include your finances, health,
career, relationships, toys, recreation and anything else you can
think of.
Stop right here and do this before you go on.
How was that? Did you have any problem coming up with enough
items? A short list means that you have a lot of things in your life
“If we seem to
experience
difficulties, it is
because we are
out of the flow.
And one of the
most effective
ways of getting
back in the flow is
through giving.”
Eric Butterworth
"The more you
praise and
celebrate your
life, the more
there is in life to
celebrate."
Oprah Winfrey
that you have not applied the law of opposites to. These are things
that you don’t like the way they are.
Here’s part two of this exercise. No matter how many or how few
you had on your first list, this exercise is designed to reveal areas
where you need to apply the first four steps of the law of gratitude.
Take another sheet of paper and make another gratitude list, with
items from all the areas of your life. But, for this list, start with things
you don’t like.
Look at your boss with the bad attitude, your car that won’t start,
your volcanic teen-age stepdaughter, your ex, the IRS, the pimple
on your nose that won’t go away, the bills that keep coming.
For example, using my sample list, you might be grateful that you
have a job and a car, for your new parenting skills, your new
insights into relationships, the income you have to pay taxes on, a
healthy body and the benefits of the merchandise and services
represented by the bills. Get the idea?
Whatever it is for you, start with these kinds of items, find
something to be grateful for and write it down. Fill the paper with
these gratitude statements.
Stop! You can’t skip this exercise and go on. Don’t read any more
until you have finished.
Now, how was that? Did you finish? You may have felt a lot of
resistance to some of the people or conditions on that list. That
resistance is making it difficult for you to get what you want in life.
Take a look at the items that bothered you and decide which of the
first four steps needs to be applied to them. Go to work on it.
Something else you can do is keep track of what you give. Every
day find some way to give somebody something, to share what you
have.
"A person of power
embraces challenges
in complete gratitude.
No matter the situation
life may bring,
discontent is never
justified, rather all is
experienced as an
opportunity and a
privilege to adventure
and grow."
James Ray
If there is something you feel you don’t have enough of, give that! Be a confident, courageous, cheerful and enthusiastic giver and watch what happens!
Now to cover one last item. Back at the beginning I told you that we
would answer the questions of who you’re being grateful to, and
why.
I think we pretty well covered the answer of “why.” Gratitude, we
have shown, is one of the most powerful attractors of what we
want.
As for the “who” to be thankful to, you may already have your own
answer. In fact, you don’t really need a “who.” But if you’d like a list
to choose from, I’ll give you one from Wallace Wattles, the author of
“The Science of Getting Rich.” In his book, he uses these names
and terms interchangeably:
Energy, Power, Infinite, Creative Power, Supreme Intelligence,
Thinking Stuff, Original Substance, Formless Intelligence, Source,
Universe, Intelligent Substance, Nature, One Living Substance,
Father, and, of course, God.
There are many other names you can use, too, so pick one that
resonates with you. I can assure you, it doesn’t matter what you call
it. Just be grateful that we live in a friendly universe!
“There is a mind
which knows all
there is to know.
And, if you have
deep gratitude,
you can come into
close unity with
this mind.”
Wallace Wattles
Resources….
Butterworth, Eric – many books available on Amazon
In The Flow of Life
Spiritual Economics
Emerson, Ralph Waldo – Amazon
Fillmore, Charles – many books available at www.unityonline.org
Prosperity
Freeman, James Dillet – many books available at www.unityonline.org
Katie, Byron – book available on Amazon or www.thework.org
Loving What Is – get this powerful book on forgiveness!
Proctor, Bob – books and tapes available at www.HornCreek.com
Ruiz, Don Miguel – books available on Amazon
The Four Agreements
The Voice of Knowledge
Shinn, Florence Scovel – books available from www.devorss.com
The Game of Life and How To Play It
Your Word is Your Wand
Troward, Thomas – books available at www.devorss.com
The Hidden Power
Vitale, Joe – many books and tapes, all excellent! www.mrfire.com
Wattles, Wallace – paperback book and seminar www.HornCreek.com
See also Rebecca Fine’s wonderful site www.scienceofgettingrich.net
for the ebook version
Copyright © 2004 Wes Hopper
All Rights Reserved
Horn Creek Productions LLC
www.HornCreek.com
This eBook may be downloaded at
www.DailyGratitude.com
For more information on seminars
and products on success, see
www.HornCreek.com
www.HowToCreateSuccess.com
www.TheCertainWayToSuccess.com
www.You-Can-Have-It.com
